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外洋也有段子脚:门将玩水也是一种传承?

作者:转载发布时间:2018-10-11 14:55:51分类:西甲联赛    浏览量:5次
旺财体育讯:
小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的世界足坛精彩看点层出不穷,阿利松出现低级失误,利物浦仍赢下比赛;曼联止住连败颓势,阿森纳、切尔西、巴萨、皇马等球队也纷纷取胜。亚运会男足赛场,帮助韩国夺冠的孙兴慜得以免除了兵役。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

西甲
阿利松玩火送礼,利物浦2-1莱斯特城Slaughtered_gates(利物浦球迷):你永远不会独自得心脏病。(You will never have heart attack alone.)
Cody667(利物浦球迷):其实自从阿利松来了我就对他玩火丢球抱有殷切的期待,我是不是没救了…(I've honestly been waiting for that to happen to Alisson since he came. I'm just so weird.)

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Teleman_Frank(阿森纳球迷):阿利松这么快就成为真正的利物浦门将了!(Didn't take long for alisson to become a true Liverpool keeper.)
bridgeorl(利物浦球迷):自古门将来利记,临阵玩火下场凄。(It’s been a terrible tradition for Liverpool’s goalkeeper to make these mistakes in such stuations.)
AndesiteSkies(利物浦球迷):罗马,你骗我!(Roma lied to me.)

西甲
IwishIwasGoku(阿根廷球迷):卡里乌斯不是一个球员,而是一种心境。(Karius is not a player, Karius is a state of mind.)
Chrisixx(巴塞尔球迷):我仿佛听到了遥远的伊斯坦布尔传来的笑声…(I can hear the laughter all the way from Istanbul.)

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HoochI5Crazy(利物浦球迷):但愿两周后阿利松不要尝试去穿裆凯恩…(Inb4 Alisson tries to nutmeg Kane in 2 weeks.)
TheConundrum(利物浦球迷):得定下规矩,阿利松要是想玩脚后跟过人,必须得等到球队27-0领先才行!(Rules should be made that Alisson can keep chipping players and doing backheels only after 27-0.)
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HarryPeratestiz(西雅图球迷):教你一招,在蛋蛋上敷个冰袋,寒冷会有效缓解上火症状,记得多敷几次哦!(Place ice pack on testicles; chill well to reduce inflammation. Repeat as necessary.)
el_niko23(都灵球迷):现在马内已经不模仿别人的庆祝动作了,而是已经模仿萨拉赫上赛季的表现了!(So Mane stopped copying other's celebrations and now copying Mo's previous season.)

西甲
奥巴拉卡进球,阿森纳3-2卡迪夫城
ThefrozenOstrich(切尔西球迷):要是你的球队踢阿森纳的时候总不能进球,那就把球传给扎卡吧,他肯定会给你们创造机会的!(If teams are struggling to score vs Arsenal just pass the ball to xhaka and he’ll create you a chance.)
xepa105(桑普多利亚球迷):要是扎卡下场比赛还能首发,我真想找人把埃梅里的脑袋拧下来…(If xhaka is starting next match someone needs to smack Unay Emery upside the head.)

西甲
Psycho_Sexy(利物浦球迷):扎卡怎么总能逃脱埃梅里的轮换名单,难道他在训练里就成哈维-阿隆索了?(and yet, somehow, Xhaka manages to escape emery's rotation, he must Xabi Alonso during training.)
trollerballer(未知主队球迷):好想成为扎卡这样的人,工作干得这么烂,但依旧是百万富翁…(I wish I could be as bad as Xhaka at my job and still be a millionaire.)

西甲
White_Duke(英格兰球迷):埃梅里这赛季的计划就是争取比对手多进一个球,防守什么的就不要想了…(Emery's plan for the season = SCORE MORE THAN THE OTHER TEAM. FUCK DEFENCE.)
lfcfan123(利物浦球迷):相信我,这不管用——来自红军球迷的肺腑之言。(Trust me, it doesn't work. Source: Liverpool fan.)

西甲
ottawaZed(阿森纳球迷):阿森纳看来挺擅长治疗对手不进球的毛病啊!(Arsenal seems to have a good cure for teams that cannot score.)
absurdlyinconvenient(未知主队球迷):莱诺是不是给埃梅里戴过绿帽,不然为啥老是替补啊…(Is Leno shagging Emery's wife? Can't think why he's still on the bench.)
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(图):我的愿望是阿森纳夺冠!

LSB12(阿森纳球迷):穆斯塔菲进的球,都比他防下来的球都多了…(Mustafi scores more goals than he prevents.)
Madskv(里昂球迷):哈哈,相比于自家禁区,穆斯塔菲在对方禁区的表现明显更好!(Mustafi is way better in the opposition's box than his own haha.)

西甲
Y2KN(切尔西球迷):阿森纳要这样搞下去,这赛季怕是连欧联杯席位都没了!(If this arsenal team doesn't improve, they won't even get in the europa league.)
nallost_biochemist(阿森纳球迷):有没有人能告诉我,怎么才能戒掉喜欢阿森纳啊?(can someone tell me how to quit caring about arsenal.)

西甲
卢卡库梅开,曼联2-0伯恩利Lacabameyang(阿森纳球迷):这场比赛的评论区里,还没看到一条不是在吐槽裁判的…(I haven’t seen a comment that isn’t about the ref in this thread.)
MOoley8(曼联球迷):裁判还不如搬个沙发躺在球场中圈吹比赛呢,反正也没啥区别…(He might as well have sat down on a sofa in the center circle and tried to make calls from there. Completely no difference.)

西甲
ottawaZed(渥太华球迷):现在曼联的比赛简直就像一场戏,只不过伯恩利扮演了个悲剧的角色…(The drama from Man U games are always interesting now. Burnley just show up unfortunately to be a figure of tragic.)
Ghost51(曼联球迷):这场比赛其实是EA推动
的一种新玩法,在FIFA19里将会出现“无犯规”模式!(This game is actually a promotion by EA for the new "No Rules" mode they've added in FIFA 19.)
Cacdemarco(切尔西球迷):曼联这场怎么把我车的tika-taka 踢法给偷走了?(Manchester steals our tika-taka technique.)
西甲
阿扎尔佩刀进球,切尔西2-0伯恩茅斯Ultimatum(切尔西球迷):虽然萨里每天抽80根烟,但最终杀死他的肯定是莫拉塔…(Sarri smokes 80 cigarettes a day but it will be Morata that kills him.)
Echo361(未知主队球迷):根据切尔西的新教练综合征,这赛季联赛冠军稳了吧!(New coach Chelsea syndrome. They’ll prolly win the league.)

西甲
Tr_Omer(贝西克塔斯球迷):坎特就像是绿巨人,不过绿巨人是越生气身体越强大,坎特是跑得越多体能越充沛!(Kante is like the Hulk (angrier he gets the more powerful he becomes) but instead he just gets less tired the more he runs.)
IrelandWhyra(爱尔兰球迷):看到吉鲁帅帅的新发型,我已经开始怀疑自己的性取向了…(Giroud got a haircut and is gonna make me question my sexuality now.)
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沃克斯特林进球,曼城2-1纽卡斯尔联rthunderbird1997(纽卡斯尔球迷):啊…曼城…别这样…不要…(oh no City yamete kudasai...)
Vengaa(凯尔特人球迷):这可比看曼联的比赛有意思多了!(Better than watching United.)
Kold_Blooded_Killer(曼联球迷):你确定?这赛季曼联的比赛简直就是笑话啊!(Nah United games actually been fairly entertaining this season.)

西甲
Scribble2thefloor(曼城球迷):瓜瓜要不去学学巫术吧,看能不能尽快把丁丁治好…(Pep needs to study necromancy to resurrect De Bruyne ASAP.)
ViewsBot(未知主队球迷):每次费尔南迪尼奥拿球的时候,都感觉他下一秒就会把球传给对方了…(Every time Fernandinho gets the ball he looks like he's about to give it away.)

西甲
酣畅淋漓,巴萨8-2韦斯卡Zeta-Omega(利物浦球迷):歪,妖妖灵吗?我要举报一场虐杀!(Hello Police? I'd like to report a horrible murder.)
st_huck(皇马球迷):梅西用脚传出的球,都赶上NBA传球的水平了…(that's an NBA level crossover done with Messi feet.)

西甲
RuralHuman(巴萨球迷):我们总能依赖最好的球员,比如梅西和乌龙迪尼奥!(We can always count on our best players, Messi and Owngoalinho.)
Royce_Melborn(巴萨球迷):见鬼,虽然咱签下了乌龙迪尼奥,但对方球队都买了柱冯!(Wtf. We sign Owngoalinho. Other team signs barffon!)
IDGAFifigetbanned(未知主队球迷):这场比赛,皮克想进球的心思可比防守的心思多多了…(Pique more eager about scoring a goal than defending.)
西甲
本泽马梅开贝尔进球,皇马4-1莱加内斯Ishdalar(巴萨球迷):自从C罗离开了皇马,皇马的每个球员都变成C罗了…(Everyone in Ronaldo form for Real Madrid this season since Ronaldo leaves.)
Touchd93(皇马球迷):除了C罗自己…(Except Ronaldo.)

西甲
Arvi833(皇马球迷):很好奔马,现在赛季进球数已经完成4/50了!(That's number 4 out of 50 then. Good going Benz!)
Thebutcher(皇马球迷):安息吧,本泽马的锅!(RIP all my Benzema memes :(

西甲
Devanshr7(皇马球迷):水爷这是要成为我团第3射手啊!(Ramos will be our third highest scorer this season ez.)
anelenrique10 (皇马球迷):纳瓦斯展示完最佳门将奖杯后,直接就去替补席上坐着去了,感觉好心塞…(Navas presenting his award and headed straight to the bench. Looked sad, feel sorry for him.)

西甲
孙兴慜免服兵役,韩国2-1日本亚运夺金Jackalop(热刺球迷):把孙兴慜的金牌放在我们热刺的荣誉柜里吧,我确定里边的空间还很大呢!(Put Son's medal in the trophy case, we’ve definitely got the space for it.)
BigSmokeIsGod(未知主队球迷):想象一下日本的热刺球迷这球看得是多矛盾…(Imagine how conflicted a Japanese spurs fan is.)

西甲
GMFan8(法国球迷):终场哨响前,孙兴慜完成了职业生涯中第二重要的助攻!第一重要的助攻是本场比赛韩国队进的第一个球。(Son finished the second most important assist in his life before the whistle, the first one is the first SK goal in this match.)
MartyStuu(未知主队球迷):现在我在韩国,我没看这比赛的直播,但他们每个进球我都知道,因为整个楼房都要被庆祝声掀翻了…(I’m in Korea now, I'm not even watching the match but I can tell when they score because the whole apartment building is blowing up lol.)

西甲
Paisus12(阿根廷球迷):阿根廷也得学学这个兵役制度,这样还愁国家队踢不好吗?(Argentina should explores the possibility of instating conscription in hopes of getting better results from their national team.)
maturegambino1(未知主队球迷):只要规定不夺冠不让吃麦当劳,我敢保证伊瓜因每场比赛都至少上演帽子戏法!(No mcdonalds if the team doesn’t win gold, I bet Higuain starts at least 3 goals a game.)

西甲
好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!

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