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外洋也有段子脚:榜尾体验卡,古地到尔野!

作者:转载发布时间:2018-10-11 14:56:00分类:西甲联赛    浏览量:5次
旺财体育讯:
小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷:利物浦赢下了与热刺的强强对话,切尔西豪取五连胜登顶,阿森纳、曼联、曼城等球队也顺利取胜。西甲赛场,巴萨客场逆转皇家社会,皇马则被毕包逼平。意甲赛场,尤文则凭借C罗的梅开二度取得胜利。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

西甲
开局五连胜!利物浦2-1热刺Yiyiyiyi(未知主队球迷):为什么总是叫克洛普“少帅”?渣叔已经50多了,当教练也都18年了,甚至比瓜瓜还要大4岁呢!(How are they still calling Klopp a bright young manager, the guy is in his 50s and has been managing for 18 years and even 4 years older than Pep!)
RestinNeo(利物浦球迷):这个吧,主要还得看发型…(Well, maybe the hair matters most.)

西甲
Mrploom(未知主队球迷):波切蒂诺的战术太单一了,就知道传中找范戴克!(Pochettino’s tactic was too simple, you can't just cross to VVD!)
Junkiehamaster(未知主队球迷):什么鬼,戴尔今天怎么又想给萨拉赫助攻了…(Lol dier trying to assist salah again.)

西甲
DarkVoidize(莱斯特城球迷):哈哈,看孙兴慜最后的表情,好像感觉自己还不如去打朝鲜战争呢!(haha Son's face looks like he’d rather be on the Korean war than watch this.)
kovic_has_a_mangina(利物浦球迷):这场比赛,就是杜绝酒驾最好的广告了吧!(This game is the best advert for not drinking and driving ever.)
(注:热刺门将洛里因酒驾受审,随后又因伤缺席数场比赛)

西甲
Jam_and_Cabbage(切尔西球迷):凯恩真的需要休息,根本就干不动啦!(Harry Kane needs a rest. He looks fucked.)
Y2KN(未知主队球迷):难道这场他没休息吗?你看他今天根本没跑几步啊!(Wasn't he rested this game? Didn't see him moving much on the field today)
西甲
Paitris(国际米兰球迷):热刺今天都合不拢腿了,就是红军射得不怎么准…(Spurs were just opening their legs but Liverpool didn’t shoot that much.)
Balls_of_Adamanthium(巴萨球迷):直播里这任意球的视角不就是FIFA游戏里的视角吗?难道我们一直就生活在虚拟世界里?(That FK angle was clearly a FIFA angle. We live in a virtual world confirmed?)

西甲
扎卡厄齐尔进球,阿森纳2-1纽卡斯尔联Om_Nom_Zombie(阿森纳球迷):看到托雷拉替补而扎卡首发我就很不爽,结果今天这真香警告来的有点早…(I was slightly disappointed Xhaka took it since Torreira was on bench. But he shut me up pretty quickly today.)
Haamaimadrasi(阿森纳球迷):现在最大念想就是这样的真香警告能多来一些…(How I wish he could shut me up more now.)
西甲
CaptainGo(纽卡球迷):可惜了,埃梅里咋就没听那些评论区教练组让扎卡当替补的话啊!(Shame Emery didn't listen to managers in match thread and take Xhaka off.)
Jezfps(皇马球迷):今天扎卡、厄齐尔和斯特林都进球了,英格兰媒体怕是要自杀了…(Xhaka, Özil and Sterling scored. English media on suicide watch.)

西甲
BenV94(热刺球迷):这样踢下去,怕是下赛季可就在联赛里见不到纽卡了…(We won’t meet Newcastle next season if it continues to go like this.)
Roquetteman(纽卡球迷):别泄气,我觉得热刺不会降级啊!(Chin up, I don't think Spurs will get relegated.)

西甲
OnMeEdSon(阿森纳球迷):什么是零封啊?我从来没听说过哎!(What is a clean sheet? Never have seen it before.)
anyNarretz(德国球迷):这球踢得好像双方随时都能进球,又好像双方就算踢180分钟也不会进球一样…(Look like both teams could score any time now, and at the same time both teams look like they wouldn't score if the game was 180 minutes long.)

西甲
(图):自2015年10月后,英超Big6互相战绩

Mark_12201(曼联球迷):埃梅里就是不让托雷拉首发,还有比这更气人的吗?(Emery and not starting Torreira, name a more hostile duo.)
nalArkin47(阿森纳球迷):有啊,比如埃梅里不让莱诺首发…(Well…emery and not starting leno.)

西甲
卢卡库斯莫林进球,曼联2-1沃特福德Fakecatfish(未知主队球迷):谁…谁说的卢卡库踢排名前6的球队进不了球的?(Who…who says Lukaku can't score against top 6 teams?)
ScottiApso(英格兰球迷):卢卡库真是用丁丁进的那球的话,咱要不要给他的第三条腿祈福一下…(So... Can we pray for Lukaku's with his third leg if he dicks the ball in?)

西甲
Spoofex(曼联球迷):瓦伦西亚有两种传中的方式,第一种是像一坨翔,第二种是更像一坨翔…(Valencia has two methods of passing; 1. Shitting it. 2. Shitting it harder.)
Joshywah(曼联球迷):我们这粉色的客场球衣,就像是白色客场球衣和红色主场球衣混一起洗了以后一样…(This pink kit looks like someone washed Uniteds' home kit with the away kit…)

西甲
hennny (曼联球迷):天呐,我们竟然战胜了前四的球队,简直难以置信!(We're beating a Top 4 side, I fucking can't believe it.)
pippy64598(未知主队球迷):斯莫林进球唯一的坏处,就是我们得足足看30秒他那奇葩发型的特写了…(The worst thing about Smalling’s goal is now we have to watch closeups of his weird haircut for the next 30 seconds.)

西甲
IamFanboy(曼联球迷):曼联的后防线,是由几根木棒和德赫亚组成。(Man Utd defence really is a bunch timber piles and De Gea.)
jaqqu7(曼联球迷):这赛季结束,我怕是得老十来岁…(I'll be like 10 years older by the end of this season...)

西甲
(图):“快看啊,是超人!”“不,那是德赫亚...”

阿扎尔带帽,切尔西4-1卡迪夫城TheGamingPotato(利物浦球迷):切尔西,休要抢走俺的头条!(Stop stealing our thunder Chelsea!)
EnergetikNA(切尔西球迷):我曾经最爱的是我老婆,但现在阿扎尔已经把我彻底掰弯了…(I used to love my wife but now I love Hazard full homo.)

西甲
Vivlam(切尔西球迷):终于登顶啦,天知道我们上次登顶都什么时候了,现在我们终于做到了!(Top of the table. It's been a while since we were on top but we make it now!)
Banezi(阿森纳球迷):去年你们不刚夺冠么…(weren’t you win the year before?)

西甲
frankoo123(切尔西球迷):这就是传说中的攻势足球吧…(So this is what attacking football looks like...)
starych_ziemniakow(利物浦球迷):比赛才踢27分钟,解说员就已经抱怨卡迪夫城在浪费时间了…(27th minute and the commentator already trying to accuse Cardiff of time wasting.)

西甲
萨内斯特林席尔瓦进球,曼城3-0富勒姆DatDominican(曼城球迷):门迪可就得纳闷了,为啥瓜瓜好像让每个人都去踢左后卫啊?(Mendy currently wondering why Pep is trying everyone at LB.)
Vero_Milanese(未知主队球迷):这就是不听话玩手机的代价!(It’s the price paid for playing cell phones.)

西甲
苏神登贝莱进球,巴萨2-1皇家社会spy_pope(巴萨球迷):要是把每年巴萨客场踢皇家社会的比赛移到美国,我肯定会同意的…(Wouldn't have minded moving this Anoeta game to US.)
StringTailor(曼联球迷):特尔施特根这简直都能拯救切尔诺贝利啊!(Ter Stegen also could’ve stopped Chernobyl.)

西甲
Aqua_ow(纽卡球迷):没关系啦,巴萨只在下半场才允许踢球的!(It's fine, Barca isn't allowed to play till the second half.)
Zoursidou(法国球迷):其实我不觉得西甲裁判在偏袒谁,他们只是单纯的瞎而已…(I don't think Spanish referees are trying to help any team, they're just blind.)

西甲
snusd0san(未知主队球迷):巴萨这防线的漏洞,简直比伊拉克海军还多…(Barca’s defense are leaking more than the Iraqi navy right now.)
Veryoriginaleh(皇马球迷):登贝莱是不是赛前被扔进冰箱里了?看起来那么僵硬,跑得也慢,直到下半场身子暖和过来才好些了…(its like they put dembele in the freezer before the game, looks so stiff and slow on the ball and only starts to look better after a half time warming up.)

西甲
(图):魔镜魔镜看看我,我的锁骨在哪里?

伊斯科进球,皇马1-1毕尔巴鄂PegaponyPrince(皇马球迷):拉莫斯这进球欲望,真应该把7号给他啊!(Ramos really wants to score, he should wears 7.)
janoo1989(皇马球迷):虽然拉莫斯进了很多关键球,但我还没准备好看他去踢中锋…(He's scored so many key goals for us but I don't think I'm ready for the Sergio Ramos Center Forward experience.)

西甲
Tweazz(皇马球迷):为啥每次我们对手的门将都能进入卡梅尼模式?(Why every fucking keeper always goes into kameni mode vs us.)
THeScArYFAcE1(皇马球迷):这联赛和上赛季踢得一样臭,是不是意味着咱欧冠稳啦?(Same shit league as last season , are we winning the cl lads.)

西甲
MahaRiskTaker(皇马球迷):伊斯科这跑位,就好像是迷雾里钻出来的鬼魂一样…(Isco runs like a Ghost through the fog.)
Outofnowhere(曼联球迷):卡塞米罗长着一张娃娃脸,却有一颗屠夫的心,这组合太奇怪了…(Casemiro has the face of a baby, but the mentality of a butcher. Such a rare combination.)

西甲
Tivboss(未知主队球迷):马塞洛这哪是踢球,分明是在玩FIFA游戏啊!(Marcelo isn't playing football he's playing FIFA.)
Johncenatbh(曼联球迷):我们总在埋怨英超的裁判渣,但看这西甲的裁判好像已经到另一种境界了…(We talk shite about Premier League refs, but these La Liga refs are something special.)

西甲
C罗梅开二度,尤文2-1萨索洛RonRon_ (皇马球迷):就像看着前女友和别人秀恩爱,你还在由衷地为她高兴,可你心里明明更想她和你在一起?…(When you see your ex-girlfriend thrive with someone else and you're happy but you still wish she was thriving with you instead ?)
Tifoso89(尤文球迷):可别忘了,他现男友可是给了你1个亿让你离开她的!(Don’t forgot the part where her new boo gave you 100mil to leave her.)
西甲
Ahazveroz(未知主队球迷):哈哈,萨索洛球员已经等不及要看C罗进球,忍不住都亲自给C罗助攻了!(LoL Sassuolo so sick of waiting for Ronaldo to score, they try to assist him.)
Staralyze(曼联球迷):你要在2017年告诉我说C罗会和埃姆雷-詹一起庆祝进球,那岂不得吓尿我…(If you told me in 2017 that Ronaldo would be celebrating with Emre Can I would’ve been very afraid.)

西甲
Avril_14 (尤文球迷):希望马图伊迪永远不要想起来世界杯已经结束了…(I hope that Matuidi never remembers that the World Cup is over.)
Sean-Benn_Must-die(尤文球迷):哎,哎,别铲伤贝拉尔迪啊,那可是我们自己人!(Woah woah don’t injure berardi he’s one of ours.)

西甲
terror_jr(未知主队球迷):眼看欧冠联赛就要开始了,C罗已经准备好状态了!(This is how I know CL is about to start, when Ronaldo starts to get in form.)
ssb5107(曼联球迷):C罗这一场比赛的跑动,都要比马夏尔一个赛季都多了!(He showed more effort in that one match run than Martial has in over a season.)

西甲
好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!

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